Rhetorical Question

A rhetorical question implies its own answer, as a way of making a point. They are not questions in the usual sense, but statements in the form of a question.

Poser

If I could pose as an author who would it be. There are so many. I mean
sure, Shakespeare, Swift, Chaucer and not to mention that like 85% of
authors in the canon are dead, and as a result off limits, but that
doesn't mean there still aren't authors it would be cool to pretend to
be.

I think that the author I would pose as would be Kurt
Vonnegut. I know he died about a year ago, but e-mails featuring
prescient premonitions could surface elevating him to some sort of
cynical prophet. I also think that it would be easy to pose as him,
when compared to other authors (apart from the being dead part). He had
a very distinctive writing style, and his views on numerous issues were
well known. Who knows that cyber-space does not hold some of his late thinkings, hiding waiting to be revealed. Or who isn't to say that when you die you inhabit the internets, cruzing the web for the rest of eternity.

Apart from these fakely philosophical questions I think he would be fun to impersonate.

Here are some other authors that made the list, but did not win:
Alan Moore (Watchmen, V for Vendetta, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
Mark Twain (even more crochety in the Cyber Age) (The Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Pudd'nhead Wilson)
H.G. Wells (The Invisible Man, The Time Machine)
Billy Shakes aka William Shakespeare (You know he'd be a rapper nowadays) (Hamlet, Othello, MacBeth)

Location, Location, Location

I have actually thought about this before, however, not in the realm of
books, but in plays. For fun (when I have the time and the drive) I do
a littleplay writing , and I considered doing a murder mystery. Well
more accurately I thought about where I would set one should I write
one. So I decided that I would set it in the last days of the British
Raj in India.

This is weird I know, but I find it interesting
that for centuries their were people of English descent who spent their
whole lives in aforeign land, living like royalty (or at least a lot
better than most other people) who called themselves Indians though
they were clearly Europeans. I think that this world of ambiguities
(especially assovereignty is about to be handed over in 1947) could
make for an intriguing and interesting setting for a mystery (not to
mention that it is exotic and far away, bothgeographically and chronologically).

Seeing is (dis)Believing

I have previously seen and heard Sarah Vowell before, so the video clip did not really add to or change my perception of her work. I had not actually seen David Sedaris before, though I have heard him read some of his essays on tape or on NPR's
"This American Life", seeing him was really interesting. Seeing his well-timed or placed facial expressions bring laughs to moments you might not laugh at if you were just reading his writing. This made me wonder what he would do reading "Chipped Beef", "You Can't Kill the Rooster", or (one of my personal favorites,) "Twelve Moments in the Life of the Artist".

The most interesting impression I got was of Chuck Palahniuk.
Admittedly, unlike many people I had never read any of his writing
before the selections from Stranger Than Fiction. I have heard his novels (Fight
Club, Choke, Survivor) tend to be dark,brutal,nihilistic,and disturbing. He is noted for reading stories at his readings that are so vivid and disgusting that they have led audience members to faint.

Considering these facts (even though the selections we read were not the most disturbing) the video we watched was surprising. WatchingPalahniuk tell the sweet and tender (and funny) story about the death of his Grandmother. I would not have
thought that the author of Fight Club would also write (or perhaps moreaccurately tell) a story about stealing the Elves that his Grandparents put up in their house during Christmastime. I was quite surprised and it changed my opinion/idea ofPalahniuk.

Niffenegger's Art

First off Niffenegger's art creeped the hell out of me. I was glad it
was shown at the end of class, because (for some reason) it really
bugged me. It did something interesting though, it made me look at the
novel in a different way. It was said in class, that she intended to
write The Time Traveler's
Wife in the style of her other "picture books", which is
without words, the entire story told in pictures. Seeing her art made
me imagine what that not-produced book would have looked like, and itcreeped me out.

Now
I can appreciate the dark (it reminded me very much of Tim Burton),
almost Gothic aesthetic which fills her artwork, I just have to know
that is what I am getting into. Reading the book I did not picture it
that darkly, even though there certainly are dark events within the
story. Maybe it's that I imagined the meadow brightly, so that when
even when in the dark and dreary city of Chicago, I had a relatively
colorful mental image.

Now I picture Henry as much more like Edward Scissorhands or Jack Skellington
out of Burton's early 1990s films. He is no longer the bright and
bookish librarian who randomly travels through time and meets hissoul mate
when she is a child. While his character is the same, I now see or
picture him as having something odd and kind of creepy that you can't
place your finger on. It especially makes my mental images of Henry and
the young Clare far creepier. Not because of the content, but because
of the juxtaposition between an innocent young girl, and a slightly
creepymysterious older man. It had already bugged me a little bit, and
now it is even weirder. It went (in my mind) from being a
fantasy-influenced romance to a dark fantasy novel with elements of (a
more) modern American Gothic.

While I would say that Niffenegger's
art is helpful, as it is informative about the author, it really
negatively affected my mental image of the novel. Even scenes like old
Henry and his younger self at the Field Museum, a scene I really
enjoyed, takes on a creepy dark tone, that changed or affected my
reading of that portion of the novel.

Time Travel Into My Past

The parameters set within the book changes the nature of visiting one's past substantially. Since we cannot really change it, it leaves us with times that we would like to re-visit. To experience with the benefit of age, that we may not have appreciated at the time. Since, for the most part, I really dislike myself when I think back to what I used to be like, so that makes the windows I can re-visit even smaller. So I have come up with a short list of times I would like to travel back to, were I Chrono-Impaired.

(In chronological order)

1. My Dad's return from Desert Storm: My dad refers to this as the happiest day of his life. It happened when I was not older than 4 years old, but it ranks among one of my earliest memories. I would love to see this family reunion, because it is a favorite family memory, and I wish I had a better recollection of the events.

2. My first directorial effort: At the age of 5, my parents took me to my first play. A children's theatre production of the Tales of Uncle Remus, entitles Br'er Rabbit and the Tar Baby. The next day, armed with neighbor kids and costumes hastily produced by my parents, I attempted to direct a re-creation of the show. It was a horrible failure. Kids aren't big on being told what to do, and prefer to do whatever they want to. Needless to say, this was probably very funny to witness. My parents love retelling this story, and I wish I could have witnessed it, rather than having been involved.

3.The most nervous I have ever been: My senior year in high school, we put on my favorite musical, Fiddler on the Roof. Since I had been a little kid I had wanted the lead, Tevye. As I went in to the initial audition, I was more nervous than I had ever been (and to this day have ever been). I put on a brave face, though my legs were twitching like they never have as I sang. Both portions of my audition went excellently, and I got a call back. I would just like to see myself, in one of my proudest moments, as I surprise everyone in the room.

4. My first Nuthouse show: This came about a month into my time at WSU. I had sought out the campus improv group in an attempt to find something I liked to occupy my time. When I came to WSU, I intended to stay my Freshman year, get good grades and transfer to a "better" school. As a result of Nuthouse and the friends I made there, I stayed at WSU. I am sure that first show might be quite painful for me to watch, but it is/represents an important moment in my (recent) life.

Hawaiian Day

Strange as it sounds, for me September 11, 2001 will always be "Hawaiian Day". In September 2001 I was a freshman at Chugiak High School in Eagle River, Alaska. As a result of the Alaskan seasonal pattern (Winter: October-April, Spring: April, Summer: May-August, Fall: September-October), the football season ended rather shortly into the school year. So while students in most states don't enjoy homecoming until mid-October, we enjoyed it the second week of September. Tuesday, September 11, 2001 was the second day of spirit week, "Hawaiian Day".

This week, before I became jaded with school spirit and the seemingly endless lack of creativity exercised during spirit week by student government (Enough people wear part of their sleepwear to school anyway, must their be a "Pajama Day" every single spirit week!?!), I dressed up most of the days. As I woke at 5:45 so I could catch the bus at 6:50, my Dad told me that "Weird things are happening". He informed me that two planes had crashed into the world trade center, and another crashed into the Pentagon. I watched the news (as I usually did) throughout my routine. My mom woke up, and I told her the news. She had not been watching 10 minutes when the first tower fell. By the time I left for the bus, neither tower existed anymore, and the world was changed.

Most of the day was spent in confusion and discussion (with the exception of German, where we angrily had to work on our German). In honors English and history we discussed what had happened, and swirling rumors. In Science, as we worked on our assignments the news played in the background, every new development coming to us as we scienced away.

The day and how it changed the world affected me. Though I did not plaster myself or a family automobile in flags, I did seriously consider buying a bowling shirt (what can I say, I am a nerd) proudly emblazoned with "United We Stand". By the end of the school year, though, the events of that fateful day had become meaningless. It had become merely a political talking point. I was so numbed to it, that at the end of the year assembly when a montage of 9/11 pictures came up, me and my fellow freshman debater Nina, mocked that the music the pictures played to was from The Lion King.

Though it took years for me to mentally seperate what happend to those innocent people on that tragic day, and the political buzzword it became. I will never forget that day. I even still wear the Hawaiian shirt that I wore on that worst of Hawaiian Days.

Graphic Novels at Large

First off, I am a big fan of "graphic novels", unfortunatley I have not read as many as I would like, as my time for reading for pleasure is limited by my being an English major.

The added images that come along with the graphic novel format, only change the way I read slightly. Firstly, it provides the reader with more to analyze. Rather than being left with only text to glean meaning from, it also provides the images. this allows the writer to be more sure their purpose is getting across. Visually everyone is on the same page (no pun intended) with the images the author wants to get across, rather than everyone imaginging something different. Though some argue that this does have the negative effect of lessening one's creativity/imagination.

I disagree with this contention, however, since the "graphic novel" format can get the reader more engaged. If one panel has a character stealthily creeping and the next shows an explosion (for example) it says nowhere that the character set the explosion though that is the implication. The reader has to connect the dots for themselves. Also, the images can contain details that are important later on, just as a narrator's description can be important later on. These details are carefully planned out by the author. When a "graphic novel" author (who is not also the illustrator) writes, they describe every pannel, including setting, and character descriptions, not just dialogue. So they put in as much, if not more planning into their writing than a "traditional" writer.

Literary Term #1:

Memoir: An autobiographical sketch--especially one that focuses less on the author's personal life or psychological development and more on the notable people and events the author has encountered or witnessed.

Poetic Experiement

Original Description:

The crystal longhouse sits atop the building. Next to skyward pointing pipes it keeps fragile life warm at a frigid height.


The Sad Version:

The crystal home sits lonely atop the world. The glass womb struggling to keep fragile life warm at a frigid height.


The Happy Version:

High aloft, ruling all the world from its perch, the glittering house is a warm bastion on a cold day. This wiser Icarus basks in the sun, living brightly.

Death Comes for Us All

"No one in the world ever gets what they want and that is beautiful/everybody dies frustrated and sad and that is beautiful" -They Might Be Giants


The quote is of little relevance to my post, just something that Life After God reminded me of. I think Coupland would agree with this idea forwarded by Gen-X Nerd Rockers They Might Be Giants. Think of it as a vaguely relevant illustration at the top of my page.


The year is 1993 and I am 6 years old, but 12 short days shy of 7. It is Beethoven's birthday, December 16th. I cross the street after I receive what I think is my mom's go-ahead. I bound across the street, reckless, quick, innocently. Then there was darkness. Then suddenly I am awake. Through a haze that seemed to fill the room, I hear myself ask "Is this a dream", though I don't recall speaking. Dr. Nash responds "No, its not." The haze is gone, along with my consciousness. When it returns again, I am at home. On the family room floor. My parents are watching AFKN (The Armed Forces Korea Network, the only channel we get), but its hold on them is cast aside like a spurned lover or Edward VIII's reign over England, when they see I am waking up.

What had happened, my mother said, took years off her life. As I carelessly (in both the good and bad senses of the word) crossed the street I had collided with an oncoming car. The only real repercussions were a broken collarbone and hours of unconsciousness.

My experience that day wasn't very "near death" but it may very well be similar to how death is (I don't know, I have never died). There is life and then suddenly nothing. Darkness. Eternal sleep. The world does end, as T.S. Eliot put it "not with a bang, but with a whimper". If this is the case, this is (to put it mildly) depressing. Contrary to the optimistic (albeit in contemplating suicide) thoughts of Hamlet, who asks "what dreams may come?" in regards to the eternal sleep of death. There are no dreams. Though it is indeed like sleep. Time passes quickly (after all it is no longer a concrete, but an abstract concept). You are rested, but for nothing. As it were you are asleep, but your body never attains R(apid)E(ye)M(ovement) sleep, the stage where dreaming begins.

I think that this, however, is not important. What death is like? What comes after death? While these questions have haunted mankind for millenia I think that in the case of life, it is about the journey, not the destination. Because regardless of where (or when it ends) the interesting stuff is what happens along the way.

Better Late Than Never: Successful Films Based On Obscure Books

For better or for worse here is my attempt at a McSweeney'sesque list.

Successful Films Based on Obscure Books

Beautiful Teens, Grizzly Murders

Rich Girl: The Paris Hilton Story

National Lampoon's Boobies and Fart Jokes

Der Affe hat meinen Hosen! (The Monkey Has My Pants!)

Trek War: Lost in Space: 1999

Ugly Custody Battle

Lara Croft Tomb Raider II: The Cradle of Life (Based on The Jungle by Upton Sinclair)